Surprise!

  Sometimes life throws you a curve ball, and it usually happens just when you think you've got things figured out. 
  Way back when I was praying about having a third child, the number 4 kept coming to me. I laughed and told God that He would need to send twins to get Russ to agree to that number, so part of me was a little apprehensive going into our first ultrasound with Z, but alas there was only one of her so I kind of forgot about the number and moved forward... until that day when the number came back.
 Zoey wasn't even a year yet and the feeling came, there was one more. Russ did not feel the same but I used every bit of convincing power within myself, and after many arguments and discussions, he buckled. He gave me 3 months to get pregnant, if it didn't happen he would get his vasectomy. I gladly took what he was willing to give and trusted that God would send this baby that He had promised within the conditions Russ had reluctantly agreed to. I got pregnant on the third month. I miscarried 8 1/2 weeks later.
  I had never been so confused, I KNEW that I had another child, I had never been so certain about anything, yet this baby that was supposed to come was gone! I was distraught to say the least. One day Russ, in an effort to console me, said "maybe this is your answer, maybe it really is ok to be done". For whatever reason, this brought me peace, and I decided to move on.
  I sold the baby stuff, I lost 10 lbs. and I was focused on raising my family, we felt complete and it was time to move on to that next stage of life. The vasectomy was scheduled. And then... God sent us a surprise, and surprised we were!
  As I stood there in my bathroom staring at those familiar little pink lines I was in shock, and a little bit panicked, everything was gone! The clothes, the swing, the bassinet, the car seat, the breast pump etc! I didn't know what to do, and on top of that, was I not inspired anymore? We really prayed about this, and furthermore felt good about the decision we had made. I prayed again and was very clear about one thing, I wanted my children... ALL of them, and I begged my Heavenly Father not to let me lose another one. The number 4 re-entered my mind and I knew that this was the baby that I had always known about. The peace was back.
  It took some time to adjust but I am happy to report that I'm 9 1/2 weeks now and so far so good, yesterday I had my first appointment and saw a wiggly little baby that resembled a gummy bear with a strong beautiful heartbeat!
  It's an interesting thing when things don't happen the way you expect them to. I'll never call this baby an accident because God doesn't make mistakes, there is a plan and we're going with the flow, I'm so excited for this new little addition to our family!