Talk about a crazy start to the year! It's only February and I'm more overwhelmed than I think I've ever been before. Why? Well, for a number of reasons.
I'll start with the fact that we've just been hit with one of the biggest trials we've ever faced, and in my opinion, it was no fault of our own, but it has challenged us in more ways than I can explain, and I'll never know why we are sometimes pushed beyond what our limits seem to be, but as with everything in life, we take it, try to learn from it, and move forward in an effort to better ourselves for the future.
Our second source of stress (and not necessarily the bad kind) comes from the choice we've made for our children's education. Taevin will be starting kindergarten this year, which in and of itself is enough to put wrinkles on my face, but the real stress comes from the fact that we've chosen to put him in a wonderful school called Quail Run, a charter school. If your unfamiliar with charter schools, they are similar to private schools in that they offer a wider variety of programs and opportunities, but like public schools, are funded by the state, which makes them very popular and difficult to get into. Since this particular school is opening just this year, I had the opportunity to be on the founding committee in order to bypass the lottery process and guarantee my kids a spot. Russ and I were so impressed with the school that I took advantage of the opportunity and joined the committee which requires 300 hours of service for the school by July, yep, 300 hours, doesn't sound too bad until you combine it with the fact that I still have to run a household, work when I can, and raise two very active little boys, all the while being tired and pregnant.
Which brings me to the next topic, pregnancy. Being pregnant is not usually stressful for me, but this one has come about in a more unexpected way than my usual overly planned baby hungry method. Allow me to explain. Last July, despite our best preventative measures, we got pregnant, What a surprise! We had not even planned to discuss the possibility of having another until this year, but here it was, and we considered it a sign from above so we adopted Nephi's motto, "I will go and do" and threw ourselves into baby mode. A few weeks later, our worst fear was happening again, severe pain which lead to the rupture of my left fallopian tube... again. Our second ectopic pregnancy, Russ was out jet skiing with the kids that day so my friend Taryn took me to the the hospital, Russ arrived shortly before they took me into surgery. The tube was beyond repair this time so it was removed.
This experience left us with utter confusion, were we supposed to have another child? Was this just an unfortunate accident? What did the Lord really want from us? The only thing I felt certain about was that more birth control would be the wrong choice. We decided that with only one tube in me my chances of fertility had dropped by about 50% so we put this decision in God's hands and trusted in his plan for us.
Turns out we're still very fertile (which is something I'd always been proud of), we conceived in November. As I've thought about things, I've realized that more than I wanted another child, I really just wanted to know that I could still get pregnant, that I still had it. I know I know, that makes me sound like a horrible mother, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited about this baby, I just feel strangely unprepared this time (you'd think by number three I'd have the hang of this). Well, the good news is that in a few more weeks we'll get to find out if we'll be welcoming another wonderful little boy or if we'll be shifting gears into princess mode, and once I can start buying stuff in the right color, I think that's when the real excitement will set in. As for now, I'll just try to keep my head on straight!
I'll start with the fact that we've just been hit with one of the biggest trials we've ever faced, and in my opinion, it was no fault of our own, but it has challenged us in more ways than I can explain, and I'll never know why we are sometimes pushed beyond what our limits seem to be, but as with everything in life, we take it, try to learn from it, and move forward in an effort to better ourselves for the future.
Our second source of stress (and not necessarily the bad kind) comes from the choice we've made for our children's education. Taevin will be starting kindergarten this year, which in and of itself is enough to put wrinkles on my face, but the real stress comes from the fact that we've chosen to put him in a wonderful school called Quail Run, a charter school. If your unfamiliar with charter schools, they are similar to private schools in that they offer a wider variety of programs and opportunities, but like public schools, are funded by the state, which makes them very popular and difficult to get into. Since this particular school is opening just this year, I had the opportunity to be on the founding committee in order to bypass the lottery process and guarantee my kids a spot. Russ and I were so impressed with the school that I took advantage of the opportunity and joined the committee which requires 300 hours of service for the school by July, yep, 300 hours, doesn't sound too bad until you combine it with the fact that I still have to run a household, work when I can, and raise two very active little boys, all the while being tired and pregnant.
Which brings me to the next topic, pregnancy. Being pregnant is not usually stressful for me, but this one has come about in a more unexpected way than my usual overly planned baby hungry method. Allow me to explain. Last July, despite our best preventative measures, we got pregnant, What a surprise! We had not even planned to discuss the possibility of having another until this year, but here it was, and we considered it a sign from above so we adopted Nephi's motto, "I will go and do" and threw ourselves into baby mode. A few weeks later, our worst fear was happening again, severe pain which lead to the rupture of my left fallopian tube... again. Our second ectopic pregnancy, Russ was out jet skiing with the kids that day so my friend Taryn took me to the the hospital, Russ arrived shortly before they took me into surgery. The tube was beyond repair this time so it was removed.
This experience left us with utter confusion, were we supposed to have another child? Was this just an unfortunate accident? What did the Lord really want from us? The only thing I felt certain about was that more birth control would be the wrong choice. We decided that with only one tube in me my chances of fertility had dropped by about 50% so we put this decision in God's hands and trusted in his plan for us.
Turns out we're still very fertile (which is something I'd always been proud of), we conceived in November. As I've thought about things, I've realized that more than I wanted another child, I really just wanted to know that I could still get pregnant, that I still had it. I know I know, that makes me sound like a horrible mother, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited about this baby, I just feel strangely unprepared this time (you'd think by number three I'd have the hang of this). Well, the good news is that in a few more weeks we'll get to find out if we'll be welcoming another wonderful little boy or if we'll be shifting gears into princess mode, and once I can start buying stuff in the right color, I think that's when the real excitement will set in. As for now, I'll just try to keep my head on straight!
Yay for baby! I always knew you would get pregnant one more time! :) And I am so excited for Aubrey to have a fun girl friend to paly with!
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