Dreams

    I don't always dream, and I don't always remember them clearly when I do have them, but when it's a happy dream I'm super grateful when I wake up thinking about it. Last night I dreamed about grandma. I've had a couple of dreams about her since she passed and it always makes me smile.

    It's weird because I rarely dream about my dad, I wish I did because I really miss him too, and he left me with so many questions that it'd be nice if he checked in once in a while, but I guess he must have a full schedule on the other side.

    Anyway, I'm grateful that I was able see grandma for a bit last night. She looked so beautiful, still like a grandma, but not as old and frail as she was at the end. As soon as I saw her I ran and gave her the biggest hug, it was funny because I offered to have her stay at my house (she must have known that we sold hers), but she declined because my house was too full of noise and chaos, I get that, I'm overwhelmed by it too most of the time ;) I don't remember where she was headed next, or really anything else, I just remember how happy I was to see her.

    Gosh I miss that lady! I have lots of love for all of my grandparents, every one of them was incredible in their own way, but my sweet Grandma Whitney... there was a special bond there, something about her presence always made me feel like I was home.

    Sometimes I like to believe that she's my guardian angel or something. I know we get help from the other side but I honestly don't know if there is someone specific assigned to each person or exactly how it works, and it would be selfish of me to think I could have her all to myself, but a girl can hope. 

    Yesterday was hard, really hard. Those days are becoming more frequent. Corrupt government and powerful people feeding lies through the media, especially to children. There is propaganda everywhere and anything that disagrees with the agenda and tries to share truth is censored. Our freedoms are being challenged with the hopes of taking them completely, and all I can do is hope that there are are enough people like me who are willing to fight. Even our church leaders are encouraging us to conform, I suppose they are trying to preserve out religious freedoms for as long as possible, but it feels so morally wrong and I am so confused. 

    These are the last days so I don't expect things to get easier, but I'll always be grateful for a little visit from grandma. I'll be relying heavily on help from the other side to make it through all of this because GOD IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME, even when it's hard.