Surrogacy

   Have you ever had a thought, like kind of a weird one? One that that pops back into your head often and you're not sure why? I think we have a tendency to question these thoughts and wonder, "Is this just me being crazy or could this possibly be from God?" 

  I remember thinking several years ago about surrogacy, most women hate being pregnant, but I never have, and the thought intrigued me. I looked into it, but at the time, Aspen was still little and the intensity of it overwhelmed me. 

  It has popped into my brain several times over the years, I’ve even mentioned it to Russ before, but he has always responded with an adamant “no way”, he (along with most people) thinks it’s weird. I on the other hand don’t think it’s weird, and it came up again about six months ago. It was the last day of school, and I along with another mom, Heidi, had taken the girls to the lake for an end of school party, her husband, Curtis was there as well, they are Addi’s parents, she has been a cute friend of Zoey‘s for a while now. I had heard that she had been a surrogate before, and somehow it came up, and naturally, I asked her to tell me more! I was so intrigued by everything she had to say. She had done it twice and was just starting her third process, she spoke about how much she enjoyed the experience, and still kept in touch with the families she had carried for, her husband was a big fan as well, they both laughed as they talked about how much fun it was watching these kids grow and going to the birthday parties of these babies she had carried. I was completely hooked and it a fire within me just lit up, I went home, and mentioned it to Russ, and as always, it was an adamant no, but this time I persisted. 

  I had some idea that there was compensation, but I had no idea how much, Heidi confirmed that there is payment involved, but it was specific to each contract, it was the only thing I felt I could use to persuade Russ. Over the next few days, I prayed and prayed, and kept feeling more and more excited about the idea, as with most things, I feel inspired to do, I fight until I win, and although some may feel bad for Russ, let’s just remember that my fight is the reason we have Aspen today. Knowing how much the compensation would help us, Russ, finally relented. Although that’s never been my primary purpose in all of this, I have prayed that this would not only bless someone with a child, but that it would bless our family as well.

  The funny thing about prayer is that when I started doing it, I was asking permission, I thought it was my idea, and I had to get the go ahead from my Heavenly Father. It was something that I wanted, and I really wanted Him to be OK with it. I felt good moving forward, but as things have progressed, I have seen His hand in all of it, which has led me to believe that perhaps He was behind it from the beginning. In fact, one of my favorite coincidences was about a year and a half ago, I was going to get a tummy tuck. My friend Brigit had found one of those studies where they test out new pain medication and will pay volunteers to do the study.  I was all about it, we went, and did the initial appointment with the clinic, and was scheduled to go consult with the plastic surgeon the next day. I woke up early that morning, and as I was getting ready, I felt a distinct voice, that said “Amy, you don’t need this”. It was so strange, but undeniable. I couldn’t figure out why I shouldn’t do it, I mean it was free, and I would get paid like 1000 bucks for doing it! I called Brigit and she convinced me to go with her to the appointment anyway. I was starting to change my mind, but in the end, it just didn’t work out, and now I know why. Got is so smart!

  It was the beginning of June when I contacted the fertility clinic, which is where Heidi directed me. Russ and I had a phone call with the nurse coordinator where she explained the entire process, and upon agreeing to move forward, I scheduled an appointment to meet with them. They started me on birth control immediately, which sounds counterproductive, but I guess there’s a process to it all, and I went in to have an ultrasound and bloodwork, just to make sure I was in good enough health to move forward. I had concerns being 44 years old but the clinic didn’t seem concerned, they even said they’d had women in their 50's carry for their adult children who couldn’t, which was reassuring. 

  Upon getting all the required approvals, I was put on a list with the clinic to be matched with a family. I had no idea who they would be, but I started praying for them. Bringing a life into the world is a big deal, and I knew that I couldn’t do this without involving Jesus, so I prayed that the family I would be matched with would be Christian, it didn’t matter so much to me whether we shared the exact same faith, I really just wanted them to have a foundation in Christ so that we would have some shared values. It felt like it took forever, but I finally got a call from the clinic, they told me a bit about the couple and asked if she could share my information with them, I said of course! I knew that this match wasn’t a guarantee and that both parties would have to feel good about it, but I was excited when I got Katy‘s first email. She shared with me a bit about the struggles they’ve had with fertility, and asked a few questions. I responded, and we agreed to meet up within the week. We met up with them at Chick-fil-A and one of the first things I noticed was a CTR ring on her finger. God is so good! Not only where they Christian, but we shared the same faith, and I knew that we could approach this from a spiritual level. The meeting went great and they contacted their attorney right away so that we could move forward with the contract.

  So far, the contract has been the most awful, tedious part of this process, they require you to think and talk about the worst-case scenarios, and how to handle every aspect. There was some back-and-forth, but we signed on a Monday and by that afternoon, I had a calendar and all of my appointments with the clinic were set! We had our first appointment last Friday, an ultrasound and bloodwork. I am taking hormones and soon injections. I will have another appointment this Friday, the next and then our transfer date is set for December 22. I feel excited and nervous all at the same time, but I do feel good about it, and I hope that by the end of this, Mac and Katy will have a family, and mine will be blessed by this experience.

  I’m so grateful to have Russ who has been so supportive, although skeptical in the beginning, he has been involved and has had my back through it all. Those we have told so far have been amazing and I feel blessed to be surrounded by so many fantastic people.