Grandma

     My sweet grandma Whitney passed away this year. It was on November 10th, Ryler's 13th birthday. We knew it was coming, she'd been declining for a while, and it had gotten to the point that we were all praying that Heavenly Father would bring her home to her husband. It was just time.

  It's been about 7 weeks now, I miss her, and it was weird not spending Christmas Eve at her house, but I'm so grateful to know that she's happy and reunited with my sweet grandpa. I'm grateful for the amount of time I got to spend with her throughout her life, and the spirit I felt as I sat at her bedside at the very end. Death is hard for those of us left behind, but the knowledge that is isn't permanent brings peace. I was asked to speak at her funeral, so here is the talk I gave.

It’s been nearly 27 years since I stood at a pulpit much like this one, sharing a tribute about grandpa. Now I only bring this up because it’s almost impossible to talk about one without mentioning the other. They were each others sweethearts, still are, and will be forever.  

  As a child I had the opportunity to spend lots of time with them, and there is an image that is burned in my mind of the two of them, standing at the end of their kitchen island, both in aprons probably canning peaches or something, and I remember it like it was yesterday, grandpa looking at us grandkids as he put his arm around her and said “I want you kids to know that this is my sweetheart!” and I’ll never forget the way she smiled at him. In my mind, this was what marriage looked like, it was total perfection. As I’ve gotten older, what I’ve realized is that even though neither of them were perfect, they were absolutely perfect for each other, and that’s something I have strived for in my own marriage. 

After my grandpa passed, I think a lot of people worried about grandma, see, he was the more assertive part of the relationship, and that was obvious, but within my grandma, has always been a quiet strength that could’ve gone unnoticed if you weren’t paying attention. Well let me tell you, it has not gone unnoticed! Over the last almost 27 years, she has shown us a strength that is unbreakable, and a faith that could literally move mountains if that’s what was needed, and I’m pretty sure I can speak for most of us when I say that there were many times when we needed it!

I reached out to my cousins to see what kind of special memories they wanted to share, and Cara told me about a time when she worked close to grandmas house, and would stop by on her lunch breaks to visit, and was always welcomed with a lunch date, a nap, a good talk or whatever was needed. She also told me about the first time she met her newest baby girl and how they just stared at each other and smiled as she held her. She did this with my babies as well, and I’m sure all of them. She truly loved her great grandkids, and let them get away with much more than we ever could, but they brought her so much joy.

She always told us that we were “good kids” and I think she really believed it even though I didn’t always believe that about myself. She loved to tell a story about Dan and how she had to go up to his school and pull that naughty little boy out from under the bench in the principles office, but she always finished with how proud she was, of him and what a good boy he had become. 

I had the opportunity to live with her a few times throughout my life, because of this, her house has always felt like home to me. I stayed there as I prepared for my mission, and again when I returned, until I got married. I always loved coming home after a date, I would peek my head into her room to see if she was still awake, and she usually was, so I’d sit on her bed and chat with her for a minute before going to sleep. It was usually late but she always made the time to let me know that the things happening in my life were important to her. 

Her home was always open to stray grandkids who needed a place to stay, and several of us took advantage of her hospitality. Christie reminded me of grandmas treadmill, as if I could forget. It was important to grandma to stay healthy, so she kept a treadmill in her basement, and every morning she would get up early, or at least it felt that way to us, and walk on that thing blasting her workout music, which was a CD full of instrumental patriotic songs, now I’m not sure if that was just what she needed to stay motivated, or if it was her way of punishing us for being out too late the night before, but it definitely got us out of bed!

She always kept us laughing, even until the very end. As a few of us surrounded her bed last Sunday, not only was she making us laugh, but she was leaving us with her very last example of faith, love, endurance and strength.  And that strength held out until she made sure that every single person had the opportunity to say goodbye. 

Today might be a hard day for us, but there is a scene that I can’t get out of my head. It’s a scene from a book called “The Message” by Lance Richardson. In this book, Lance tells about a near-death experience he had while in the hospital after a tragic accident, and the opportunity he had to visit the spirit world. Upon his arrival, he was assured that everyone who dies has close relatives and friends present to greet them when they pass through the veil which separates our two worlds. 

As I share this excerpt from this book, feel free to visualize this beautiful scene. He says  “I watched numerous people pass through the veil while I was there. It was most enjoyable. I witnessed an elderly woman whose family anticipated her arrival. There were about 20 individuals, jumping up and down excitedly, as if waiting for a loved one to come off of an airplane. A slender man, who was most obviously the husband of the woman, paced back and forth nervously. Two women kept patting him on the back and excitedly hugging him as they anticipated the arrival. Another man, who acted as a leader to the group, then stepped partly through the veil so that I could not see him. He then stepped back, announced happily, “it’s time,” and turned back into the veil. He reached his arm forward and drew it back holding the hand of the elderly woman. She seemed startled, and a bit blinded at first. Then upon seeing the group, her expression turned to one of absolute splendor. They parted for her to see the gentleman standing at the back; the one who appeared to be her husband. They rushed into one another's arms. The entire company encircled them and eagerly welcomed her home.”

It’s hard to let go of someone who has played such a critical part in who you are, but today is a happy day, and she is with people who love her just as much as we do. 

We don’t get to choose our family, they are given to us as a gift from God, but one thing I know, is that even if she hadn’t been given to me, I still would’ve have chosen her as a friend, and I believe that when it’s my turn to go home, she will be a part of that group waiting for me.