Ayres Insanity

  For those who don't know, every so often I write a letter to my children. It starts when they're conceived and then whenever I feel the need to share with them what's going on in they're lives and how I'm feeling about them. I thought I'd share my latest letter to Ryler.   Ryler,   For the last several days in a row, you have thrown an epic tantrum. These tantrums usually involve throwing yourself on the floor and screaming for approximately 1 hour, accompanied by spitting, hitting and kicking. Most often I’m left with a severe headache after these episodes, and wondering what brought on a meltdown of this magnitude.   Your dad and I are rapidly approaching insanity and possible alcoholism. We expect you to pay the bill when we end up institutionalized and heavily medicated. Just so you know.                             ...

  Last Wednesday my little Ryler had his tonsils and adenoids out, which means that we're half way through our recovery; poor little guy.   When we went to his 3 year visit with his pediatrician I told her that I was concerned about some behavioral issues so she asked if he was sleeping well, I told her not so much. Pretty much every night he ends up snoring in my bed with his feet in my face (this is why mommy is grumpy every morning). She told me that behavior is often directly related to sleep. It hadn't occurred to me but made sense, so she referred us to an ear, nose, and throat specialist who told me that poor sleep habits, thumb sucking, and spitting out food are all signs of large tonsils, which he had. He said that it was likely that if we removed the tonsils and adenoids, Ryler would be able to breathe & sleep better and hopefully not be such a stinker, resulting in a much happier family.   When we showed up at Primary Children's Hospital, R...

  It's only 1:00pm and already it's been an eventful day.   Last night after dinner as I was getting Kalei ready for a bath, I noticed that the dog was missing, so Russ searched the house to see if the kids had locked her up somewhere, but she was nowhere to be found. We figured she had snuck out unnoticed while Russ was getting the mail a few hours before, so he and the boys went out driving to try and locate her, but to no avail. We figured that if nobody had let her in she would probably freeze to death in the 20 degree weather with heavy snowfall, but what could we do?   As I was shoveling out my car at about 6:45 this morning, guess who showed up? Yep, Annie Belle, and she didn't look like she'd been freezing all night so I'm assuming some good Samaritan let her in for the night. I hope that dumb dog learned her lesson this time!   On a happier note, Kalei slept for NINE hours last night! By the time she woke me up at six, my boobs were like milk sprin...

  I love this time of year, the opportunity to remember what we're thankful for and to enjoy a fabulous meal with family. It was a fantastic Thanksgiving and now we're ready for the rush of the Christmas season.   Yesterday we put on some Christmas music and set up the tree, the house now looks and smells like Christmas!   One of my Favorite Christmas songs is the Mannheim Steamroller version of "Silent Night". I love it because it makes me feel a portion of the spirit that must have been there the night the Savior was born.   Taevin was born in January, which means I was very, very pregnant during the Christmas of 2004. It was that year that I gained an appreciation for Mary, and she has held a special spot in my heart ever since. I remember being as Luke would say "great with child" and feeling the difficulty of getting in and out of a car, and it made me wonder how Mary felt getting on and off of a donkey in that delicate state.   There is a p...

  Tomorrow is a big day, my little Ryler is turning three!   I was talking to Russ about him the other day and told him that I've never met another child who is capable of stirring up such extreme emotions within me. There are times when he makes me so angry I think I might just snap and end up in a mental hospital (like when he took a meat mallet to my hard wood floors or stuck my wedding ring in his poopy diaper), and then there are the times when he looks at me with that sweet little face and says "I love you mommy" and my heart melts and I know that there's nothing in the world I want more than to be his mommy.   It's funny how the same two parents can create children who are so incredibly different, for example; Taevin has always been relatively easy. Mild mannered, compliant and sensitive, much like his dad. Ryler is the polar opposite of that; he's vibrant in every way. Bold, curious, and filled with energy. Only time will tell what Kal...

    Anyone who knows me well knows that I hate Halloween. I think it's a ridiculous waste of a holiday, a time when childhood obesity, diabetes, cavities, and greed is encouraged. And not to mention the freaks out there who use that day to perform satanic rituals and torture cats. But aside all that, nothing good has ever happened to me on Halloween, usually it's just the opposite and this year was no exception.   Friday was the ward Trunk or Treat. We had been gone all day and Russ felt bad about having left Annie home all alone so he suggested bring her along. I agreed as long as we tied her up, since she does like to run. We kept her tied to the trunk latch and everything went fine until we were getting ready to leave. We unhooked her leash and put her in the car but when the kids got in, a back door was left open. Just as Russ went to shut it, our stupid dog jumped out, took off across the parking lot and attacked our neighbors dog. Russ took off af...

  Last night I was sitting in bed watching Property Virgins , a show about people who are going through the process of buying their first home. The couple on this episode was looking for a home with a large yard so as not to be too close to their neighbors, and from what I hear, this is an attractive feature for most people. I on the other hand, love being close to my neighbors. For those who don't know, we live in a town home and therefore, share a wall with our neighbors, and although I would love a big back yard and a garage, I  would never give up having close neighbors.   I'm aware that not everyone is lucky enough to live in a neighborhood like mine, but I have been fortunate. This is the kind of place where everyone waves while driving by, and we all gather on the porch in the summer to eat watermelon and watch the kids play. I remember when we bought this house, the series of events that led us here convinced me that this w...

  I just read a scripture, Mosiah 3:19. "becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things". I'd like to meet the child he was referring to. My children, and particularly Ryler is most definitely not submissive, meek humble and patient, he is however full of love, although he sometimes has a funny way of showing it. One of my favorite quotes is found in a cute little book I have called " The Wonder of Babies" , it says "I do not love him because he is good, but because he is my little child."   I envy the parents of the child Mosiah speaks of.

  Just last week I had my six week follow up appointment with my wonderful midwife, as we chatted, she asked me how I felt about my birth experience, and if I had any regrets. I didn't even have to think before answering, of course not, I wouldn't change a thing!    That conversation made me start reflecting on the births of all of my children and I wanted to document those feelings so I'll never forget those special moments.   I remember when I had Taevin, there was so so much anticipation, and as a first time mommy, so much I didn't know, so as most people do, I trusted my doctor and hung on to his every word. I wanted him to deliver my baby so at my last appointment with him, I agreed to an induction on January 16th. It was one day after my due date and he was already on call which guaranteed   his presence at my delivery.   Russ and I went to bed the night before, nervous and excited for the next days event. We got up early and went ou...

  Like most people, Our pets are a part of our family, so I thought I'd write a few words about them.    We've had our dog back for a few months now so this post isn't really new information, but here's the story.   We bought a puppy when we'd been married almost a year, we were in the process of buying our first home, so it seemed like the natural thing to do was to get a dog. I had done my research, we wanted a breed that was good with kids and a loyal family dog. I had always wanted a Boston Terrier, after all, who could resist that cute little flat nose? Anyway, the breed fit our criteria so we found our puppy, she was listed on puppyfind.com and was the most affordable choice even though she was located in Arkansas. So with our free flight benefits, we hopped on a plane and picked her up, and I must say, she was the cutest little thing I'd ever seen.   Russ came up with the name Annie Belle because it sounded southern and we wanted to give her a na...

  My little boy is growing up!   Last week Taevin started kindergarten. Back to school night was on Tuesday so I went a little early to help clean up and volunteer for the first few hours, and after directing people and trying to answer questions for other parents for two hours, Russ showed up with Taevin and it was my turn to be the nervous mommy with lots of questions.   We went to the kindergarten room first and met the teachers and were very impressed, next we were off to pay the bus fee and figure out the lunch situation, and after a few pictures I was much more at ease and ready to get Taevin home and into bed so he'd be nice and rested for school in the morning.   I was up by 5am at the request of my hungry baby so I got ready and got Taevin up at six. He put on his cute uniform and his brand new school shoes that we had laid out the night before and headed down for breakfast.   I had wanted to drop him off on t...

  Well, mom left this morning and Russ is back to work, which means this was my first day alone with three kids. I decided to document the day to see how I would do so here goes. 7:30- Woke up after a long night of painful feedings. 7:45- Chatted with Russ on the phone to see how his night went. 8:00- Cuddled with Taevin and took a cute picture of the kids sleeping. 8:30- Fed Kalei. 9:15- Checked email. 9:30- Fed the boys breakfast. 10:00- Got dressed, put my hair in a pony tail... again, and put on not nearly enough makeup to cover the dark circles under my eyes. 10:30- Took the kids outside and visited with my neighbors while ignoring the disaster that my house has become over the last few days. 11:30- Fed Kalei while reading Ryler a book. 11:45- Russ came home after a 15 hour shift at work. 12:15- Put Russ to bed. 12:30- Made lunch. 1:00- Cleaned the litter box and did the dishes while the baby slept and the boys watched cartoons. 1:30- Ate way too much fudge brow...

  She is here! She made her debut at 1:02 am on Tuesday August 10th 2010. I'll now give the disclaimer; this is a birth story, if you happen to be squeamish, do not proceed!   For the last few weeks I have been more than ready for this day. Mom arrived on Friday so we were anxious to get this show on the road so I could take full advantage of having a little extra help.   Monday was my appointment with Rebecca (my wonderful midwife), we went in at 11:00 am and I expressed my desire to get things started, we discussed some options that might safely get things moving provided Kalei was actually done cooking. We decided on a mixture of blue and black cohosh, and what a handy little concoction that turned out to be. It is an herb that basically invites the baby to come, it will bring on contractions and if you are ready to deliver, the contractions will continue once the herb wears off, if not, they will simply stop. Luckily for me, we were indeed ready. The cont...

    I remember when Russ and I were dating and in the early stages of marriage, you know, the time when you're still on your best behavior, you brush your teeth before making out and would never think of passing gas in front of one another. Well that was when I made the decision that I'd never be one of those wives that "gave up". I'd always make the effort look pretty for him and never be caught saying things like "why bother getting all dressed up, I have no one to impress". In fact that has always been and still is one of my most hated quotes, I cringe when I hear it come out of married women's mouths, I think to myself "What do you mean you don't have anyone to impress? What about the man that supports you and fathers your children? This is the attitude that causes men's eyes to wander!" So anyway, I've always made a conscious effort to impress my sweet Russ, well that is until about a month ago.   I'll never un...

  I know I know, last Sunday was mothers day, but in all honesty, that one kind of sucked and I was in no mood for writing. I had hardly slept the night before due to a restless toddler, was incredibly uncomfortable with pregnancy heartburn and backache, and had been tortured with a headache for the entire week previous.   On a positive note, my sweet Russ gave me the best of all mothers day gifts, a clean house and a back rub. I seem to remember mothers days as a child when I would ask my mom what she wanted as a gift, most often she would answer, "just clean the house", or "for one day, don't fight with your brothers", I always thought this answer was ridiculous, you know, her way of being nice so I wouldn't have to spend my hard earned allowance on her. I have now, as a mother, realized the significance of this precious gift, and I have been blessed with a husband that gives me this gift far more often that just mothers day.    Today's lesson ...

  What a week! The last few months have been driving me crazy with suspense. It's funny how sometimes you have an instinct with your children, and sometimes you just seem to draw a complete blank.   I remember being pregnant with Taevin and not having any intuition as to whether he was a boy or girl, and it didn't matter, I was just excited to be having a baby. Russ however had a feeling about him, and he was right, a sweet little boy!   My pregnancy with Ryler was practically identical, and from the beginning, I had a strong feeling that he was a boy, Russ disagreed with me but somehow I just knew... another sweet little boy!   This time has been somewhat different, rather that craving bacon and sushi, it was salad and donuts accompanied with more exhaustion and less morning sickness, still, I had little intuition about the sex, although in the back of my mind I thought maybe there was a chance for a girl, I wasn't about to let myself believe that an...

  Talk about a crazy start to the year! It's only February and I'm more overwhelmed than I think I've ever been before. Why? Well, for a number of reasons.   I'll start with the fact that we've just been hit with one of the biggest trials we've ever faced, and in my opinion, it was no fault of our own, but it has challenged us in more ways than I can explain, and I'll never know why we are sometimes pushed beyond what our limits seem to be, but as with everything in life, we take it, try to learn from it, and move forward in an effort to better ourselves for the future.   Our second source of stress (and not necessarily the bad kind) comes from the choice we've made for our children's education. Taevin will be starting kindergarten this year, which in and of itself is enough to put wrinkles on my face, but the real stress comes from the fact that we've chosen to put him in a wonderful school called Quail Run, a charter school. If your ...

Things that I love: Russ, my kids, hot baths in big tubs, sexy shoes, kitchen gadgets, wrapping the kids in a warm blanket, pies, sleeping in, Christmas, having babies, cooking, fall & spring, walk in closets, church, chocolate dipped strawberries, the forth of July, watching a sleeping baby, decorating, flowers, good books, chocolate fondue, Thanksgiving, pretty music, hugs, a warm comfy bed, soup, fresh baked bread, the smell of babies, my grandma's house, Sunday dinner, prayers, cruises, certainty, double ovens, friends, birthdays, yummy smells, fireplaces, fuzzy socks, the fair, temples, bed and breakfasts, good neighbors, back rubs, family life and the list goes on and on... Thing that I don't love: sleeping alone, cold toilet seats, extreme weather conditions, public tantrums, Halloween, mice, horror movies, morning sickness, onions, bathing suits, ignorance, car repairs, hospitals, whining, angry music, dirty houses, phone solicitors, buyers remorse, clea...